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"25 things you’d never hear a Camp Counselor say" by Sophie Mullender

20.09.15

Camp Counselors are a community of crazy, enthusiastic hooligans that spend their summers around a campfire, attempting to start a fire so that their children can eat their dinner before 10pm. Well – atleast that’s what we did every Tuesday evening at my camp.

Regardless, no matter what camp we went to, where in the United States you were based, every camp counselor has the same thoughts each summer. There are many quotes you may hear us say all the time, however these are the ones that would never leave our mouths…

Let’s start off with the most obvious…

1. ‘This wifi is amazing! In fact, I think it may actually be too fast…’

2. ‘I think i’m gonna allow my kids to stay up till midnight, tonight actually.’

3. ‘No, I do not want to dance and sing at the campfire with you.’

4. ‘Evie, can you please STOP dancing on the table?’

5. ‘I’m on Staff Retreat tonight, but i’m probably not gonna bother taking it.’

6. ‘I have not forgotten to write in my journal a single day I’ve been at camp!’

7. ‘I’m counting the days till I go home.’

8. ‘No! Not another trip to Walmart!’

9. ‘Dom, I went to Walmart and only spent $10!’

10. ‘This is the best food I’ve ever tasted.’

11. ‘I’m actually not going to travel after camp, i’m just going to go straight home.’

12. ‘My kids aren’t having any fun.’

13. ‘I’m so excited for that huge cloud coming.’

14. ‘Tash, how excited are you for morning mayhem tomorrow!?’

15. ‘I haven’t had a wet bed all summer.’

16. ‘I smell divine.’

17. ‘I want the youngest cabin because they’re the easiest.’

18. ‘I have too many friendship bracelets.’

19. ‘Now that, is what I call an exceptional shower.’

20. ‘Don’t worry kids, you can leave the cabin as messy as you want.’

21. ‘This is a repeat after me song. Urgh! NO MORE SONGS.’

22. ‘Definitely not going to shed one tear when I leave here.’

23. ‘I’m being given way too many sentimental notes this summer.’

24. ‘I don’t have any favourites at camp.’

and lastly…

25. ‘I’m absolutely not coming back next year.’

What do you and your fellow camp counselors never say?